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rae01236

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shit [Mar. 28th, 2010|01:45 am]
rae01236


i havent wrote in a while.

-my birthday is thursday which is april the 1st im excited. ill be 17! i have no idea what im doing for it though.
-no school friday or monday say what!
-codys coming home in july for R&R. hella excited.
-prom may 1st
-last day of school may 28.

i started tanning yesterday i already got a litttle tan.  i have to do twillight again. so fucking gay. im lookn for a car no luck with that, or with james go figure. either i need a reality check or its just how things are going to be.

im so drained. this weekend was relaxing stayed home all weekend.
im going to bed. night.
x0x0
 


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whatever. [Mar. 22nd, 2010|12:14 am]
rae01236
i guess everything gets harder before it gets easier.  i need to learn how to cope.

i feel so emotionless, like nothing makes sense anymore. im never fully happy or at least i haven't been in a long time, im never sad to the point were i wanna cry its so much effort to cry about things that wont matter in weeks to come.  I hate myself for letting you back into my life, so fucking dumb of me. i was doing just fine without you.

i wish you could get your head on straight, and work everything out with yourself.  It would mean alot.
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come on come on [Mar. 20th, 2010|11:40 pm]
rae01236
yeaaah, so i saw: manchester orchestra, oh brother, biffy clyro, and the features lastnight.
it was fucking wild. this cool ass dude pulled out a joint right before manchester orchestra came on and let me and courtney blaze with him. ha how nice of him. 
so i was 3rd row. and right when manchester orchestra came on that crowd got insane. fucking sweaty balls and saggy titties were flying everywhere hahaha. it wasss so much fun though.

it snowed lastnight. HARDCORE had to stay in a fucking hotel in kansas city, i had nothing but the clothes i wore to the concert and my phone and purse. it sucked asss.

last day of spring basically cause ill im doing tomorrow is relaxing. this was a good one.
just got back from blaines parttty, pretty chill. saw some faces i havent seen in a while.

i believe monday is going to be depressing for so many reasons. I hate that i care so much. especially after everythings done with.
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finally [Mar. 16th, 2010|10:03 pm]
rae01236


okay, so me and james broke up. ha i knew it was coming especially when you dont even communicate with someone. OR at least even show you care. but i feel so free, i've been holding back so much. So afraid to actually hurt you, but  all along you've been hurting me the whole time. so much weight has been lifted off my back. FEELS SO FUCKING GOOOOD.


i dont care what anyone has to say about anything, because most of you people dont even have a fucking clue.
 3 whole years basically wasted on hoping things would change with you. but it didnt. and its all fine. everythings fine now. im not going down the same path as last time, hating you is not going to be an option of mine. I'll always be here for you.


IM NOT HOLDING MY TONGUE ANYMORE

honestly, i dont even care anymore. half you people are worthless that only come around when you need something. FUCK THAT AND FUCK YOU. 
 again i don't care if you wanna call me a bitch go ahead. ha give you full permission.

i dont give a shit, if your lonesome.

r.i.p. annie. <3

 


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3/14/10 [Mar. 15th, 2010|12:39 am]
rae01236
[Current Location |bedd.]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |fruit bats]

had lunch with zack today. haven't seen him in forever. crazy how fast time flys by.

todays marks 3months...think i would get a text? No.   YOU SUCK.
Everything is repeating itself, EXACTLY like last year. 
only thing different is i know whats going to happen and i know ill get past it this time.

spring break is in full effect, it's almost one and i cant sleep. how lame i really wish i could.  ah i wish alot of things.
Just read a chapter outta some new book i got. pretty fucking good so far.

4days away from seeing manchester orchestra. soo excited.  wish cody was here to see em with me.
i love the weather its been gloomy for the last week.  cant wait for them summer storms.

fuck this. talking about pointless shit. getting off and getttn some koolaid. and watchin some tv.






 


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plans [Mar. 10th, 2010|11:24 pm]
rae01236


-i got my prom dresss. gunna be lookn cute.
-going to manchester orchestra concert the 19th.
-spring break starts friday.
-birthdays in 22 more days & have no idea what im doing for it. i wanna go to illinois.
-lunch with zack sunday. havent seen him in forever.

busy busy bee. i need my mind to be occupied. i need these days to go by fast. didnt think i'd miss you this much.

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(no subject) [Mar. 8th, 2010|10:27 pm]
rae01236
The little time spent with you, You've opened my eyes to so much.

Goodluck in iraq cody.
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(no subject) [Mar. 4th, 2010|10:20 pm]
rae01236
damn dude, its already march. hahah. less than a month away till my birthday :) say what!!
had the best week really. and the best slushie ever today. thats what im talkn bout.



i dont want monday to come :/
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(no subject) [Mar. 1st, 2010|10:06 pm]
rae01236
[Current Mood |IDGAF]


IT IS WHAT IT IS.
i think with everything new and old change comes. i think with everything going on in my life right now, everythings still changing, for better and for worse.
I have one shitty relationship with someone and then on the other hand im getting to know a complete whole new person and inviting him/her in my life.

 


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(no subject) [Feb. 28th, 2010|09:30 pm]
rae01236
[Current Mood |worriedworried]

i told myself i would never fall down this road again, that i would never let someone have control of my life.
i never thought id have to go threw this again with james, fuck i never even thought there would be an "us" again, i though everything was going to be good this time that we both grew up in some sense and we knew what we wanted i guess i was wrong, im pretty much wrong about alot of things. i never really seem to care much about other things then james. i dont know why that is. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYTHING IS SO COMPLICATED WHEN IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE.
 
i wish everything would just be okay again. or that i didnt give 2 fucks about james. but thats not the case at all :/
i hate fighting with him.
 

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