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rae01236

[ website | My Website ]
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zoooom zooom [May. 11th, 2010|10:42 pm]
rae01236


Time is flying by, i wish i could stop and rewind.

UPDATES:

-school is over in 11 days, thats really sad. but bittersweet.
-I'm single, Me and James are done for good No On/ Off bullshit. Were friends though, Im not looking for anyone or anything.
-Cody is coming in july.
 

The last 3 weeks have been full of surprises and confusion, im ready for it to all be over.


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fuck you. [Apr. 29th, 2010|11:22 pm]
rae01236
[Tags|]
[Current Location |in bed.]
[Current Mood |pissed.]

 

i'm to the point were i dont even care anymore, i dont have the energy or the desire i don't have the strength to even deal with it anymore.  I wish it was as easy as you make it out be, i really do.

fuck people. fuck people who lie. fuck people who cheat. fuck people that are incondisderate. fuck people that are selfish. fuck people that come back to you when you have everything firgured out. fuck people who fuck up relationships. fuck people that get in everyones buisness. fuck people that only come around when they want something. fuck people that think its okay to fuck someone over because ITS NOT OKAY.

im ready for you to graduate and get the fuck out of here, im so ready for the 19th hopefully the last time i ever set eyes on you again. you bring so much hate to my heart.


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ill let it be known [Apr. 26th, 2010|11:52 pm]
rae01236
[Current Location |in bed]
[Current Mood |blankblank]
[Current Music |brand new]


i cling to his words like its my prayers being answered by the lips of god, i hang up the phone and look at the reality of my life and how alone i am.

Misery loves company.
sometimes everything seems so fucked up and you think they'res no way out of it but eventually you come up with some plan and it all works out.

i'm a strong believer in karma and i swear what comes around goes around. 

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ay ay ay [Apr. 19th, 2010|10:39 pm]
rae01236

http://ravenl2020.wordpress.com/ 

my other blog. i stopped writing in it a long time and just started again.
visit it.
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To somebody: [Apr. 15th, 2010|11:16 pm]
rae01236
[Current Mood |crushedcrushed]


i miss you.
i miss staying up till 4am on the phone in the summer.
i miss your laugh.
i miss the way you used to say "babe".
i miss your innonence.
i miss your random text messages.
i miss the way you would always shrug things off.
i miss you being my bestfriend.
i miss how you used to care about everyone and anything.                                                                                    
i miss watching you skate board.
i miss the fact that i can't even look you in the eyes anymore.
i hate how you changed.
i hate all the things you put me threw.
i hate how the drugs changed you.
i hate how you let everything get the best of you.
i hate how we cant even have a decent conversation.
i hate how you get so angry about everything.
i hate that you don't care anymore.
i hate how everybody was right, but i stayed and pushed threw.
i hate how you pused me away.

I tend to think about everything in the past and it makes me sad, how could some loose so much control of theirselves?
I dont know what happened to you, i wish i did. I wish there was some way i could help you, but being the person you are you dont accept anything from anyone and i guess that's okay, you'll learn the hard way and i wish you the best of luck.

ill always be here no matter what.
love raven.


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(no subject) [Apr. 15th, 2010|08:54 pm]
rae01236
[Current Mood |okayokay]


Why care, when nobody else does? Why put myself in postions that i know i cant overcome?

Nothing ever surprises me anymore, Nothing matters to me at all. 
I wish i could take back everything thats ever happend from december on. But of course i know thats not going to happen. 

I think its better to have you in my life then not to have you in it at all.
 


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(no subject) [Apr. 3rd, 2010|04:47 pm]
rae01236
[Current Mood |contentcontent]


had a good birthday.thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. im getting a car really soon. yay!
went to kyles party lastnight, it was fun hung out with samantha havent talked to that girl in forever.

going to codys birthday party tonight with the girls. its an underwear party hah!
hope i dont see no nasties.

Me and brandon are friends again, im happy about that. I dont know why silly things get in the way of so much.

less then a month till prom. i cant believe how fast this school year flew by.  it was a rough one.

i miss cody,  im ready for him to come homw for R&R. ah.

nap time then codys.
xoxo.

 


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(no subject) [Mar. 31st, 2010|11:26 pm]
rae01236
i miss the innocence.


enough said.
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(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2010|11:58 pm]
rae01236
it was 1 o clock and i was passed out with out a doubt i heard my phone go off and just from the ringtone i knew it was him, i knew it wouldn't be good why would he text me so late. I layed there in some god awful spell i couldnt believe what i was reading i couldnt believe the guy i fell so hard for was telling me all these horrible things. I just layed there, i couldn't comprehend a thing. i guess thats what i get for not listening right? everyone warned me it was just a matter of time and i found out. I haven't talked to him sense then, i haven't seen him but i know from the lack of communication he's doing alright. im doing alright.

i know from 10 months ago how depressing everything was,  and i hope everything will be different this time around. i know people grow up and some dont. people are stuck in their ways and there is no way out. you cant help the people that dont want help, loving someone is uncontrolable and i know that first hand, it sucks.  I never want to feel this again, worst pain imaginable.

i sometimes wonder if i ever cross your mind..
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(no subject) [Mar. 30th, 2010|08:42 pm]
rae01236
i really dont even have the words to say but keeping this all inside isnt good either.
I truly do not understand you, you've turned into some big asshole thats so self absorbed. do you even care about anything? i seriously think you dont because you wouldnt act the waysyou do. ive let so many things by pass me ONLY to get some lame excuses and bullshit. I can honestly say with everything in me, you've fucked me over so bad its not even funny .Twice in a row and there wont be a third. I hope one day you realize how bad you fucked up, i hope you fall in love and get treated like a piece of shit.

you will never change, im done trying to please you. i wont be here the next time you decide to come back.


and for karsen, nobodys jealous of you. because clearly im better all the way around, and IDGAF what you think you know about me, because you dont know shit.  who does he always come back to? ME. 


so tired of dumb bitches in general

GET A FUCKING CLUE
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